“I think that’s when you know your in love; for the first time your feel comfortable in going to sleep because of the certainty that they will be the first thing you see when you wake up. But at the same time you don’t want to close your eyes because no dream could match what you feel when your awake.”—You.
“And my mother thinks I hate her
because I am barely 17
and I think I have it all worked out
especially boys, and life
and “I only live once
so I will go and fuck him
on the riverbank
and believe it is romantic
because there are stars shining above my head”
when in reality
I don’t even know my own favourite colour
and I am scared to admit the music that makes me cry.
I may be 17
with wrists of steel and too much eyeliner
but I do know
that when I fall
or when something breaks
or when I’m crying in the gutter smoking my last cigarette
and I hate myself so much that I want to cry an ocean
the only person I want is her.
I want her skin, like soap and mothballs
and I want her warm breasts to sob into.
I want her stories
and her words
and her smell.
The most important relationship a girl ever will or won’t have is with her mum, and
I love you so much.”—"A Different Kind of Need", by Rosie Scanlan (via girlchoking)
“When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next.”—How To Pretend It Doesn’t Hurt, by Ashe Vernon (via 1811181)